Death By Jimmy Dean

When it comes to the Swine Flu, I can get along just fine covering my mouth when a I cough and sneeze, wash my hands constantly. When it comes to removing Jimmy Dean sausage from my dining habits I feel like the terrorist have just won.

While the television news has been saturated with coverage of the H1N1 Swine Flu and telling everyone not to panic, it’s hard to not worry that my last bite of the ground pork might turn out to be my last bite of pork. I found this map (below) of all the reported and suspected incidents with the Swine Flu and I see how close our neighbors in Tar Heel State already had four suspected cases of the flu.

Then I think about the Hot and Maple Jimmy Dean sausage packages just sitting the refrigerator waiting to meet the frying pan and later join a couple eggs on a plate. Or even better I could just fry the sausage, crumble it up in a cast iron skillet, cover with few mixed up eggs, smother it in Velveeta and throw in the over for 20 minutes and I would be in heaven. Or could really be in heaven.

I settled on a salad, without bacon bits or pepperoni.

For a southerner this Swine Flu outbreak strikes a deeper level fear. Not only are we working through the concerns of being exposed to this possibly deadly strain of influenza, but we’re having to readjust our dining habits. With tasty pork products like country ham, bacon and sausage disappearing from the menu.

I had settled into laying off the pork until the authorities give the “All Clear” and my puppy decided that it was time for her good girl treat. As I was reaching into the bag I noticed that the rawhide treats that have become a large part of her pampered life were pork products from Mexico. She wasn’t going to just get by on a bed of lettuce (tomatoes maybe).  She settles for Cheetos.

If the Centers for Dieseas Control and Prevention does want the south to reach a full panic they better put Obama on prime time to say pork products that are safe to consume. If not I may just have to take prophylactic doses of Foroseltamivir and Zanamivir start frying.